06.10.04

Jesus took a blank check (but needed two forms of valid ID)

Posted in Health, Philosophy at 5:17 pm by Danny Dawson

I tried to get into position to do a fingertip push-up today, and met with little success. I can get into the upright position, but as soon as I begin to lower my body, my wrist collapses and I fall on my face. When this happened the first time, I just laid there and savored the moment.

I’m convinced that Jesus Christ was a waiter sometime between the ages of 13 and 30. That’s why such a large portion of his life went undocumented. Maybe it was a carpentry-themed restaurant. Latkes were “potato drywall.” It wasn’t a very successful restaurant, mind you.

I, personally, would like to read a chronology of Jesus’ missing years, written as a joke. “Oh, Christ! You’re short-pouring the Manischewitz again!”

Other things I have lined up in my reading queue:
Ashes to Ashes : America’s Hundred-Year Cigarette War, the Public Health, and the Unabashed Triumph of Philip Morris
The Writings of Carlos Castaneda

I found out recently that my old webserver is indeed dead and gone. Its remains were witnessed by a friend of mine, which means those 3 years of my life are gone, not including the little you can find through the Wayback Machine. Ah, well. Many of my physical posessions have also been lost to the world, including my high school diploma, my baby book, and many pictures of people I don’t keep in touch with. Just another reason I’d love to live in the mountains of a foreign country. Also another reason Memento scares the platelets out of me — my memories are very valuable right now. They’re the only thing that can’t be taken from me prove I existed.

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